In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen.


Are you happy or sad?

Had a weird time in Film Directing class today.

We were all to direct one 3-minute scene today. I did mine and it was only so-so. Then after me came this big guy, who did really well. He's got a great story. It's about this guy who'd just lost his only friend and had nothing else left in this world. His wife had left him and he lost his job, etc., etc. So the scene was to play out like this:

Michael, sad, depressed, lonely, sits at his desk and stares blankly into space. Behind him, a door opens and bright light shines through. He does not notice any change - the light is of another world. A silhouette of Patrick appears in the door. This apparition is Patrick's ghost. The ghost moves forward slowly and sees Michael. When he approaches Michael, he calls out his name. Silence. Michael does not hear him. The ghost is now standing in front of Michael but Michael does not see him. Instead, he is sobbing. Patrick's ghost jumps up and down, shouting without words, trying to get Michael's attention. Michael still does not notice anything. Soon, Patrick gives up and simply touches Michael on the back. Michael takes in a deep breath but still does not notice the ghost. Patrick turns and begins walking slowly back to the light that is the doorway. Meanwhile, Michael opens one of the drawers in his desk and takes out a syringe filled with cynide (?). Slowly, but steadily, Michael slips the needle under his skin in his elbow, as if injecting heroin. The poison takes effect - he shivers, falls on the desk and clambers to the ground, very dead. Patrick hears the sound of Michael's body landing on the floor and snaps around. He now sees Michael's ghost looking at him, standing only a few feet away. They reach out and embrace each other. But when Patrick notices Michael's body, he steps back in disappointment and walks away.

Okay, so it's a short scene.

I was chosen to play Michael and played the parts correctly. There was no ad-lib. When I played Michael, I just stared blankly in the space in front of me with my head slightly tilted downwards and to the side, and when Patrick's ghost was in front of me, i didn't move... suddenly, tears started streaming down my face! I couldn't believe that I did that. Anyway, we finished the skit and I felt relieved. Everyone saw me cried then. I didn't even have to sob. I just stayed there motionless and let the tears run down my face.

After the first take, the instructor asked me if I was alright. Everyone thought I was a good actor. But the truth of the matter was my eyes were tearing the whole day already and I tried to keep my eyes open without blinking or rubbing them throughout the scene, which was impossible, so I started tearing like mad. I was like, oh shit! But the entire class picked up on my vibe, most of all the guy who played Patrick's ghost. After 4 or 5 takes, I was really exhausted from the crying, but everyone felt it was a great performance.

Funny how stupid situations like that can turn out to something good. I don't think I can ever replicate that kind of performance again. I'm a really lousy actor to boot. But now, I think I can appreciate a little of what actors go through for an emotional scene. They have to feel torment to act tormented.

Well, my knee is a little painful now because of all that falling to the floor. But what an experience, eh?

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam